


Team Expose Lila Rossi

by ouijadarling



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Fuck Lila, Lila Rossi Bashing, Lila Rossi Lies, Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed, Lila Salt Fic, Salt, Saltinette, Salty Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, can pennywise come get his long-lost sister, fuck her and her descendants, god i would push lila into a wood chopper, i hate her, i lay a curse upon her and all her children to die of unnatural causes, i would die a happy girl if she would only perish, please god let her die onscreen, salty alya, so much salt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:14:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28680204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ouijadarling/pseuds/ouijadarling
Summary: Lila's gone too far, and Marinette intends to do something about it. But what she doesn't expect is for Chloe to back her up, and especially not for it to work. A plain old I HATE LILA fic with a healthy amount of salt and rage poured over top. I--words fail me. This fic is about what Marinette and her friends do to expose a few of her lies and get everyone to realize that Lila is just a sad pathological liar who desperately needs a psychiatrist. And fast.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 277





	Team Expose Lila Rossi

**Author's Note:**

> Real talk, I hate Lila with all my heart. Just saying, but Miraculous Ladybug...y'know, I bet they could be the first kids show to win an Oscar for killing a character onscreen. Just a thought, Thomas Astruc. Just a thought.

It was when Marinette walked into class and heard Lila telling everyone that “Audrey Bourgeois saw me in New York and thought that my outfit was so cute, she invited me to her next photoshoot for Style Queen magazine!” that she knew something had to be done. 

Chloe was visibly seething so hard, her face was red and smoke looked ready to come out of her ears. Marinette took her arm and hauled her away before she could launch herself at Lila, nails out for the kill. 

“It’s okay, Chloe. She’s just telling them what they want to hear.”

“But this is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! My mother wouldn’t look twice at a low-class, lying peasant like her!” 

As Chloe ranted, a safe distance from Lila and her adorers, Marinette noticed something else was wrong. “Wait. Where’s Sabrina?” The sweater-clad girl was noticeably absent from Chloe’s beck and call.

At that, Chloe’s red face turned purple with anger. 

“At home. That--that absolute  _ horror  _ told everyone that she had a contagious disease and even though it wasn’t true, the principal told Sabrina to stay home for two weeks!”

Marinette’s fists clenched, hearing that. “That's too far. Lying about herself is one thing, but about other people? Something needs to be done.”

Chloe nodded vigorously. “I could call Daddy and ask him to have her put in the asylum!”

“Um, maybe let’s not involve him in this,” Marinette said. “I have a better idea. But it’ll have to wait until after school. Where can we meet? At my house?”

“At Daddy’s hotel,  _ obviously,”  _ Chloe sneered. “Imagine stepping into a bakery. My pores are clogging just thinking about it!” Marinette ignored Chloe’s rude statement about her family’s business. It wasn’t her fault she was so spoiled. Chloe’s eyes started to fill, and she fanned her face rapidly to stop her makeup from running. “Aside from that, I cannot stand that horrible wench. She needs to go!”

“And we need to go to class. Come on.” 

The bell rang, and Marinette steered Chloe inside before she went into major meltdown mode. As she slid into her seat beside Alya, her BFF nudged her and whispered “Hanging with Chloe? When did that start, girl?”

“It’s a complicated story.” Marinette tilted her head towards Lila, now telling Nathaniel that she would  _ totally  _ contact this super-famous graphic novel artist she was friends with to give him some tips. “A comp _ Lila _ cated story. But we’re meeting at the Hotel Paris after school.”

“Got it.” Alya nodded understandingly. “So should I get some friends?”

“You know it.” They high-fived, and then turned their attention to the front as Mme Bustier began the lesson.

But unfortunately for Marinette and Alya, finding people to help the cause was not going to be as easy as they thought. Because lately, it seemed like everyone had been taken in by Lila’s tantalizing stories.

“Ugh!” Marinette complained. “Is everyone on her side?” 

She and Alya had taken refuge in the bathroom after trying unsuccessfully to win Rose to their side-(the petite, pink-clad girl had insisted that Lila was so sweet and nice and had promised to help her be better friends with Prince Ali, so surely she couldn’t be as bad as they thought?, and Juleka had only looked at them from underneath her bangs and said “I’m not getting involved” in her quiet way. Even Mylene had been taken in by her story about being close to Ladybug and Chat Noir, and had asked Alya if maybe she wasn’t being just a little unfair to Lila, since it wasn’t her fault she had a disease and hearing problems. It was hard to believe that anyone would ever want to help them expose Lila once and for all.

“It looks like it, girl,” Alya said, and patted her arm consolingly. “We still have Chloe, and Nino definitely doesn’t believe her.” To underline her point, she stared threateningly at her boyfriend, who nodded like a bobblehead.

“You’re totally right, babe. Lila sucks,” Nino agreed. “But we’re in the girls bathroom. Can I go now?”

Alya grabbed the back of his collar as he started to slide out. “Gender is irrelevant in times of war. Can you get Adrien to join us? I know he’s supposedly close with Lila, but he could be a real help.”

“I’ll try,” Nino said nervously. “I’m not sure he’d like that we’re trying to take her down, though.”

“Please,” Alya said dismissively. “Who doesn’t want to get rid of a liar like her?”

Back in class, for the last hour of the day, Marinette tried not to think too hard about Lila. The more time she devoted to thinking about her, the worse she would get. After school let out, though, she heard faint crying from outside, and realized that Rose had been gone half the class.

In the locker room, Marinette found Rose being handed a handkerchief by Juleka, who was pulling them out from some hidden pocket. “Rose? What’s wrong?”

“P-prince Ali,” Rose sobbed, and wiped her eyes with the handkerchief. “H-he told Lila I was annoyingly clingy, and he never wanted to see me again!”

“Wait.” Marinette took her hands. “Did Lila tell you he said that?”

“Yes!” Rose burst into tears again. “She said it was her duty as a friend to tell me what he said in case I embarrassed myself next time he comes to Paris! I thought we were friends…” Miserably she pulled out a piece of paper, embossed in gold and with a royal seal. “This is the last letter he wrote me, from a week ago. And h-he was just too nice to tell me I’m annoying!” 

Marinette didn’t ask any more questions. But Juleka was the one who met her eyes and nodded firmly. “This needs to stop.”

Surprised, Marinette blinked. “What do you mean?”

“You want to expose Lila? I’ll help you. For Rose,” the Goth girl told her. “Where do I join?”

“There’s a group of us meeting at the Hotel Paris...right now!” Marinette checked her watch and saw that it was nearly four o’ clock. “Come on. We can walk together!”

Juleka took the still-crying Rose’s hand. “Come on, Rose. You’re coming with me, okay? I know that what Lila said isn’t true, and we’re going to make her prove it.”

True to her sunny, persistent nature, Rose brightened almost immediately, the flow of tears subsiding. “Yay!”

At the Hotel Paris, after being let in by a highly suspicious doorman who claimed that  _ “Miss Bourgeois doesn’t have any friends”  _ and was about to refuse to let them in when Juleka held up her backpack and claimed that they were here to drop off Chloe’s completed science project for her to hand in. 

When they made it to Chloe’s suite, Marinette recounted to Nino and Alya how they’d gotten in with Juleka’s save.

“You have scarily amazing foresight,” Nino said to the Goth girl, who just stared at him.

“Do you think I’m an amateur at this?”

Nino backed down immediately and ducked behind Alya for protection. Just then, Chloe banged open the bathroom door and came out. “Who gave all of you peasants permission to be in here?”

Marinette raised her hand. “Um...you did.”

Chloe huffed. “Fine. Whatever. You better have something good planned.” She held up her phone, on which Sabrina’s face was pixeling in on a video call. “Since Sabrina’s mom won’t let her leave, because of course she fully believed the disease thing, I just called her.”

“Hi everyone.” Sabrina waved.

Just then the door opened again and Adrien walked in with a wave to the group of kids hovering awkwardly in the general center of Chloe’s bedroom. “Hi guys.”

“Adrikins!” Chloe squealed and threw herself on him. Marinette tried not to look jealous, but it was hard when she wished she could be the one full-body hugging him. “You made it!”

“Say something!” Alya hissed, and poked her hard in the back.

“Adrien!” Marinette yelped, surprised by the sudden nudge, and everyone in the room looked at her. “Oh. Um. Hi.”

“Uh, hey Marinette.” He nodded at her, and her stomach got fluttery.  _ Darn, he’s too cute. Aah! _

“Let’s stop wasting time and figure out how to get that wretch a restraining order,” Chloe snapped. “Six hundred million yards away from me and Sabrina is preferable.” 

“Aw, thank you, Chloe!” Sabrina’s eyes welled up onscreen, and Chloe had to bite back a sigh.

“Can you not overreact? I hate when you do that.” She turned towards Marinette and looked pointedly at her. “Well?”

“Okay,” Marinette said with a deep breath. “I have an idea. But it’s going to be a big one, and it’s going to take a while. First, Chloe, can you figure out a way to videocall Prince Ali, as well as your mom?”

“Ew.” Chloe’s face puckered up into a sneer. “Call my mom? She can’t be bothered to remember my name.”

“Ah, yes, well…” Marinette remembered a certain  _ Casserole  _ but decided not to mention it. “That part won’t be necessary. Just getting her to see Lila’s face will be.”

Chloe’s face cleared and the corners of her mouth twisted into a decidedly malicious grin. “That could be arranged.”

“As for the rest of you…” Marinette leaned forward, and the others listened intently to the plan. 

“One week?”

“One week.” 

They stacked hands. “Team Expose Lila Rossi, go!”

In Mme Bustier’s class on Monday morning of the next week, seven days past the meeting, there was general anxiety that something would go wrong. But the fates were far against Lila Rossi’s cards, and she had had this a long time coming.

“Before I announce the test results,” Mme Bustier said to the class, “There is something I would like to tell all of you. Miss Chloe Bourgeois has arranged a special surprise for you all, but especially for Rose.”

Rose’s wide blue eyes got even bigger. “Huh?”

This definitely hadn’t been part of the plan. Marinette exchanged confused looks with Alya, who shrugged in return.

The door opened, and in walked Prince Ali, along with a retinue of aides and bodyguards. Rose squeaked and promptly fainted onto Juleka’s shoulder, who held her up and misted her face with a water bottle. 

Luckily for everyone in the room, she regained consciousness only a few seconds after and immediately jumped up and shrieked “Prince Ali!”

Although the prince had looked extremely startled by her sudden collapse, he looked gratified, and relieved even, when she promptly clutched his arm and began fangirling all over again. “How did you know it was my birthday?”

“Miss Bourgeois was kind enough to coordinate my visit to the school districts of Paris with this special occasion,” he said with a smile. “I’m so glad to see you again, Rose.”

Marinette shot a quick glance at Alya, who nodded. Chloe had set them up with a golden opportunity, and they weren’t about to waste it.

“So, Lila,” Alya said clearly, so not a word of her statement would be missed. “I guess what you told Rose about Prince Ali disliking her wasn’t true at all, huh?”   
Lila turned bright red immediately. “Ah...uh...no, that’s not-”

“But it is,” Alya cut her off. “Prince Ali, did you know you and Rose weren’t friends anymore?”

The prince looked confused. “Rose and I not be friends? How could that be possible? She’s the kindest, sweetest girl I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Miss Lila must be mistaken.”

At that, Rose swooned all over again, her eyes fluttering shut before they popped open again. “Oh, thank goodness what Lila said wasn’t true. I was so worried you didn’t like me anymore, Prince Ali.”

Now all eyes in the room were on Lila, and Alya wasn’t about to let up. “And I guess what you told all of us about your month-long absence wasn’t true either. Instead of gallivanting around Atchu with Prince Ali, you were probably hiding out in your room!”

Lila’s mouth opened and closed, but nothing came out. 

Prince Ali nodded. “I’m very sorry, Miss Lila, but I don’t know anything about this. I certainly don’t know who you are.”

Marinette stood up. Everyone’s heads swiveled to her. “And for everyone’s information, Sabrina does  _ not  _ have a contagious disease. My parents are friends with her doctor, and he confirmed that nothing’s wrong. And you know what else, Lila? I was able to ask about you, since we’re such good friends. Imagine my shock when I found out that you didn’t have any kind of disease, nor do you have hearing problems.”

“That 's not true!” Lila defended. “I do have very serious tinnitus, as well as a genetic disease that causes me to do and say things I don’t mean. Marinette, I can’t believe you. I thought we were friends!”   
Even in her last-ditch attempt to save face, she was still using Marinette as a stepping-stool. Sometimes, she really hated people like Lila.

“Explain why you could hear Audrey Bourgeois so well when she invited you to a Style Queen photoshoot, then,” Marinette challenged. 

That was Chloe’s cue, and true to her upbringing, she played it perfectly. The door opened, and Chloe stepped in, her heels clicking on the classroom floor. “What 's that, Mom? You never invited a classmate named Lila Rossi to one of your magazine shoots? That can’t be true. Here, look at her and see if you remember.” Chloe shoved her cell phone into Lila’s face, who jerked back. Onscreen, Audrey Bourgeois’ scowling face was clearly displayed. 

“I’ve never seen or heard of that girl in my life,” she snapped. “Are we done here? I have a brunch appointment to get back to.”

“Yes, Mom,” Chloe said coolly. “I think we’re just about  _ all wrapped up here.”  _ She smirked into Lila’s face as she ended the call with one manicured fingernail. “Does the guilty party have anything to say in their defense?”

“I-I-” Lila turned a sick greenish gray color, her cheeks paling and her hands shaking. “I hate all of you!” She burst into tears and dashed out of the classroom, sobbing.

Marinette and Alya shared satisfied looks as the class burst into an uproar. 

“She lied about everything?”

“Oh, I can’t believe her!”

“Ugh, that’s horrible. She deserved that!”

“I can’t believe I thought she was serious about all that!”

“Does that mean she’s not friends with Ladybug?”

At that, Marinette stiffened. Alya gave her a questioning look, and in front of her, Adrien turned around to shrug at her. “I guess we’ll never know, huh, Marinette?” he asked.

“Maybe not,” Marinette agreed.

When the group of friends arrived at the Hotel Paris that day after school, Chloe still huffed as she let them in, but her scowl was quickly replaced by a smile as Sabrina entered the room. Her friend threw her arms around her and began thanking her ecstatically. Chloe pushed her away and put on an irritated expression. “Whatever. It’s not like I care about you that much or anything. Here.” She shoved a pink box at Sabrina, and then at the rest of them in turn. 

Marinette opened hers to see a frosted cupcake with a ribbon, as did the rest of them. They gaped, and Chloe glared back at them. “Stop gawking at me like that and just eat them, peasants!”

Although she denied it, Marinette noticed Chloe ate three. 

**Author's Note:**

> so tell me what you thought. does it need more salt? i plan to write an even saltier one, but i just needed to get my anger issues in order of importance, starting with a big F**K YOU to Lila. Like, who pissed on your tombstone, hag??


End file.
